responsive-logo
  • Home
  • About
  • Keep Breathing
    • Keep Breathing: Introduction
    • Part 1
      • Stay Grounded
      • Keep Breathing
      • Gather Information
      • Feel What You Feel
      • Take in Support
      • Pray
      • Practice Surrender
      • Notice Your Reactivity
    • Part 2
      • Realize What Is Happening to You
        Is Happening To Everyone in Your Life
      • Take Inventory
      • Let Go of Shame
      • Extend Grace
      • Show Up
      • Learn Vulnerability
      • Make Amends
      • Stay Present in Times of Waiting
    • Part 3
      • Be Still and Keep Moving
      • Know You Are Not Alone
      • Ask for Healing
      • Seek Guidance
      • Meditate
      • Pursue Peace
      • Acknowledge Death
      • Grieve
    • Part 4
      • Express Gratitude
      • Stay Open to Joy
      • Make Room for Laughter
      • Celebrate Each Day
      • Let Yourself Be Carried
      • Be Who You Are
      • Know That You Are Loved
  • Desperate Hope
    • Shocked by the Diagnosis
    • Responding to Feelings of Fear, Anxiety, and Sadness
    • Ordering Desperate Hope
  • TLC Leader’s Manual
    • Group Leader Resources
      • Introduction to TLC
      • Meeting Format
      • Notes to Group Leaders
      • When a Group Member Dies
    • Strong Feelings
      • Understanding our Feelings
      • The Emotional Roller Coaster
      • Living With Fear
      • Dealing With Depression
      • Living with Anger
      • Grieving Our Losses
      • The Experience of Gratitude
      • Celebration and Joy
      • Experiencing Peace
      • Finding Hope
    • Challenges to Faith
      • Stretching Our Faith
      • Prayer
      • Examining Our View of God
      • Healing Prayer
      • The Lord Is With Us
      • God’s Healing Presence
    • Changing Perspectives
      • The Seasons Of Survival
      • Living Sanely in An Insane World
      • One Day At A Time
      • Positive Thinking
      • Accepting Our Need for Help
      • Building Friendships
      • Perspectives on Treatment
      • Coping With Pain
      • Repairing Our Self Esteem
  • Contact

Stay Open to Joy

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth
and clothed me with joy.
Psalm 30:11

I learned that I had cancer on a Thursday afternoon. The next morning I was planning to meet with a friend for breakfast. We have been meeting regularly for more than twenty three years. This particular Friday morning was to be our Christmas celebration. I had called her the night before to let her know about the diagnosis, but we didn’t talk long because we knew we would have time together the next morning and I had many other calls to make.

I can’t remember the Christmas present that she gave me that morning. Or the one I gave to her. But I do remember the words she wrote in her card. They were a soothing ointment to my raw nerves. They were especially powerful because they came from someone who had some credibility. This friend is a survivor of breast cancer, colon cancer and much else in life. Here is what she wrote:

Dear Juanita,
Have a wonderful Christmas with your family—enjoy every moment! In the weeks and months ahead may you experience the power of Jesus’ presence in your life—light in moments of darkness, peace in the face of fear, courage in the unknown, love and security in the embrace of family and friends and joy in living.
I love you.

The words that stayed with me the most through the following months were: “Joy in living.” I asked my friend about them when I first read the card. “Yes, joy,” she responded. “While I drove here to meet you I was praying to be shown the joy that God has for me today. I ask for this every day.”

Joy was not exactly the first thing on my mind that morning, but I knew that my friend knew what she was talking about. She radiates joy. You can feel the warmth and light of genuine joy just being with her.

But joy did not come to me that morning, even though I was aware of feeling gratitude for the gifts I was already receiving. I was feeling more shock and anxiety than anything else.

But the joy did come. And when it came, it almost always came as a surprise.

Sometimes joy seemed to come out of nowhere. It wrapped me up and filled me up when I least expected it. On other occasions joy came leaping out at me after I set aside time to express gratitude for the gifts I was being given. Most amazingly of all, joy sometimes appeared after my deepest outpourings of grief. It was as if God literally did what the psalmist describes, as if God, at times, turned my wailing into dancing and removed my sackcloth to clothe me with joy.

I think there is actually an important connection between these things. I think the reason we sometimes experience joy after the expression of gratitude and grief is that expressions of gratitude and expressions of grief both ground us in the truth and open our hearts. Gratitude and grief are both vulnerable states. They are states of grace. They are moments when we let down our defenses a bit, when we soften, when we are receptive to God’s tender mercies in ways that might not be possible in the more ordinary moments of life.

Something happens in those moments of receptivity. I believe that God is always available to us—pouring life and love and peace and light and joy into our lives. When the soil of our hearts is defended and hard, however, the rain runs off. It is not received so it cannot nourish us. But when our hearts are softened by expressions of gratitude and grief, the sweet rain of God’s Presence is able to flow into us, nourishing and blessing us.

The connection between joy and grief is made explicit in a frequently misused text from the book of James: “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2). The truth is I have never particularly liked this text. It sounds like pretending, like putting a good face on things, like some romantic, idealized but completely impractical notion. It doesn’t feel real. I have heard far too many religious people talk as if God expects us to always look happy, even blissful. But I know that the wisdom of Scripture also teaches us to grieve and to be honest.

So where does the joy come from? It certainly doesn’t come from pretending or from trying to be cheerful. It seems that the joy comes from being open to seeing that something is happening that is bigger than we are. That our difficulties, which occur for all sorts of reasons, always hold out gifts to us. They offer to challenge us. They offer to change us.

This is how this text from James says it: “Count it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of any kind, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

The journey to joy is like climbing a steep mountain. At least two things happen during the hike. One is that as we keep hiking, we grow stronger. We can’t see it but our spiritual bones and muscles and heart and lungs grow stronger. The other thing that happens is that as we get closer to the top, we begin to see a view that we otherwise would not have seen. We see the bigger picture.

Something else happens on the climb as well. Because the ascent is so difficult we are likely to see that we cannot do it alone. We need companionship. We need help. In the middle of struggling up the steep slope we find that we are not alone. Sometimes we are being guided. Sometimes we are even carried. By God. By others.

These gifts (stronger spiritual muscles, bigger perspectives, knowing we are not alone) all serve to deepen our faith. The joy that emerges out of difficult circumstances is that we gain a greater capacity to trust that in all circumstances we are held and safe, that we are known and loved.

Ultimately joy is about being loved. About knowing we are loved. About “remaining” (resting, living) in love.

It was in this way that the words “Count it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds,” came to be real for me. Many days I did not feel joy, but as I was given grace to persevere, joy had a way of emerging over and over again.

Since the day I received the Christmas card from my friend, I have remembered often to pray, as she does, to be shown the joy God has for me each day. I recommend it. Pray to be shown joy, whatever your circumstances. Joy will come.

When you don’t know what to do…stay open to joy.

Questions for reflection and discussion

1. What experiences have you had with joy during this or other times of difficulty?

2. What do you think was the source of this joy?

Share this page:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn

Keep Breathing

Keep Breathing by Juanita Ryan is available for purchase at amazon.com

Guided Meditations by Juanita Ryan

These are downloadable mp3 files of guided meditations on biblical texts by Juanita Ryan. Each is approximately 40 minutes long.

  View Cart

A Meditation to Help Reduce Fear by Juanita Ryan -- $5.99
Add to Cart


A Meditation to Help Reduce Shame by Juanita Ryan -- $5.99
Add to Cart


A Meditation to Help Reduce Stress by Juanita Ryan -- $5.99
Add to Cart


A Meditation to Help Reduce Depression by Juanita Ryan -- $5.99
Add to Cart

Quote of the moment

"Jesus accepted suffering and rejected shame. He “endured the cross and scorned the shame” (Hebrews 12:2). We tend to reject the suffering—we deny it, run from it, tune it out—but we tend to embrace the shame as if it were the truth. Shame, however, is a lie. None of us is ever “less than.” None of us is unlovable, beyond repair, or worthless. We are loved and cherished by a redeeming, healing, saving God."
Juanita Ryan

Copyright © 2019 Together Living With Cancer · Disclaimer · Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
furla snakeskin handbag purse baby blue gray leather tote womens green felice buckle cuff sandal special design wedding shoes white pearl high heel bride dress shoes lace flower and lovely bear platform prom party pumps virgil ablohs chunky louis vuitton zig zag releases nude patent leopard sole pointed court shoes mango tall high black fringe leather wedge boots gold heels dsw shopstyle 33 beautiful navy blue wedge wedding shoes chinese laundry rumor heel black white print steve madden nude p reed block heel peeptoe sz7 pumps size us 7 regular buy dune london black tarrin boots for women online tata cliq luxury ugg indra black leather wedge chelsea boots ladies pu leather heels hill shoes shoes womens vagabond grace lace up boots black nubuck red chief online store buy red chief shoes passion de louboutin pumps passion de louboutin shopping mango black strappy sandals high street copies of luxury label shoes have never been more xupes x year zero london hand painted satan loves me brown monogram coated canvas neverfull pm nine seven womens genuine leather round toe lace up boots chunky heel handmade platform knee high boots black leather cuffed lace up ankle boot bcbg red pumps size 7 with small gold detail great condition boots browse our wide range of shoes and clothes online in our 00 ladies warm lined riding boots black black clear diamante ankle strap strappy sandals peep toes high heels shoes louis vuitton neverfull full collection monogram black mule sandal with heel pink clear pumps justfab womens high heels knee boot black uk women block high heel mules slippers pointed toe pearl pumps party shoes size steve madden womens shoes sale extra 30 off dealmoon nude diamante clear heel sandals louis vuitton taigarama outdoor bumbag men black steve madden black mule slippers kate spade sala dress heels evelyn black faux suede mid cuban heel boots asos design chain waist and hip belt wee kicks lime green red handcrafted leather footwear soft sole baby and toddler shoes vera rainbow snake clear block heels steve madden fringe bag online shop womens black bolted high boots chanel black satin pvc point toe heels bow girl pink stripes cotton zipper leisure bags women tote bags new j. adams jay velvet booties crushed velvet pointed toe chunky heel sock boots 2018 women wedges shoes high top pumps women casual shoes female height increasing platform women canvas shoes christian louboutin at house of fraser 800 new prada womens white black sneakers ladies shoes size 7.5 us 37.5 eu lovely royal blue dress maxi dress long sleeve dress christian louboutin cinderella bride christian louboutin steve madden carrson nude blush lea block heels leather 8.5 new blogger fav cordelia womens low heel ankle strap shoes fuchsia female high heel boots in black or brown vs toys 1 6 scale figure talia white patent perspex heels luxury leather belt bag great summer sales on steven by steve madden womens aries mule royal vintage shoes rare louis vuitton vivienne city scarf black wool break zip detail patent ankle boots shop steve madden delicate slip on classic pumps rare le vuitton monet water lilies x jeff koons pin by on group board handbag haven steve madden shoes in store black and white cloth crossbody bag brown classic monogram canvas laptop bag christian louboutin oh so kate louboutins new high quality woman messenger bags luxury handbags women bags designer tassel crossbody bags for girl chain shoulder bag alexander wang antonia womens heels brick square toe ankle boot black gianni bini cute mustard yellow heels transparent miami beach tote bag kuayang kuayang womens sneakers black black gold mesh strap sneaker women from zulily jimmy choo gold sparkle pointed toe pumps sz 39 heels christian louboutin black suede curved pointed toe women ladies girls summer high heels sandals crisscross heeled mule red bottom sandals sale carrie dorsay pumps azalea wang clear strap pu upper high stiletto heel pointed open toe i35 wide calf over the knee boots midnight blue women color leather aurielle mini backpack purse cheap wholesale chloe tess bag chloe faye wallet belt bag break zip detail patent ankle boots black lace up ballerina wedge platform shoes v 1969 nero womens pumps heel high heels shoes steve madden womens brow suede pursue slingback pump sandal w cork heels nosy 100 patent leather and pvc pumps small womens soft leather crossbody travel smartphone bag clutch hip ankle round toe square chunky high heels boots violet purple iriza pumps clarks women s whistle bea navy tumbled boot michael kors red high heel shoes steve madden womens lamp open toe nude suede sandal size 9.5 medium steve madden womens nilla wedge sandal nwt christian louboutin sneakers in mens casual shoes for sale christian louboutin black leopard woven jacquard loafers size pin by jacky on thongs and mules saint laurent black ysl amber 105 velvet ankle strap sandal heel pumps size eu 40.5 regular bright pink suedette ankle strap block sandals new look jeffrey campbell dayana pink glitter platform sandal lv inspired purse diaper bag